Saturday, February 27, 2010

Don't Judge a Book by It's Cover



Hey sorry I haven't wrote in a while i've been grounded so yeah. I don't really have much to talk about, I just read a magazine article. Four pages long it hurt my eyes but it was worth it.lol Okay so this morning I woke up and came down the stairs, and thought hey i'm gonna make myself a big breakfast. (Big for me is a waffle and some eggs.) See but when I make my eggs I put salsa, salt, and cheese on them. Then I smother my waffles in syrup and put the eggs on top, and it just smells so disgusting. It looks gross too, but it's the most delicious thing i've ever tasted, and I just thought that was amazing. Then it got me, that that almost never happens in real life. Except for Susan Boyle, but that's only because she didn't let anyone tell her she couldn't do something because of the way she looked. It's like, if it's not what you want it to be or is way different from what you would usually consider beautiful you reject it. So many people miss out because there brain can't comprehend the fact that someone or something different can still be great, but I want you guys to remember that something may not sound good but it can still be exquisite.

Quote of the day.
"But you don't really want to get to know me or photograph my soul, you want to do some version of what you already think I am and then expose something you believe is hidden. When the truth is, me and my big fucking dick are all out there for you. But i'm not angry, i'm laughing. The joke is not on me, it's on you."
-Lady Gaga

Monday, February 22, 2010

Mid Night Snack

I don't really have that much time to write because I have to write an editorial on the fashion industry but I thought I'd make a quick entry in my blog first because there's only really one thing on my mid right now. Midnight snack's. Don't you hate it when you wake up in the middle of the night an you're starving? It's like you go to sleep with a full stomach and you wake up feeling like an anorexic homeless guy. Okay so that happened to me last night. I woke and my stomach went. "Gggrrgrgrle." Yeah so I look at the clock and it's like 3 am, and i'm thinking to myself,"I should just go back to bed." Then I was just like screw it i'm hungry so I get up, and like James Bond myself down the stairs. So i'm in the kitchen now right? Starving, and let's just say my parents aren't too big on me eating after 5 pm. So i'm trying to be as quiet as possible. I reach into the cabinet. "B-B-BBooooosssh!!!!!!" Like five plates fall and crash onto the floor, and i'm thinking,"OOOOOOHH! Sh*t.". But nothing happens, my parents don't wake up. They don't scream. They just keep sleeping. So I just get in the fridge and make my sandwich, and right when I start heading upstairs I step on a lose board,and my dad comes busting out of his room like a cop on a black man with tinted windows on his Esclade. And I get the,"Do You Wanna Be Fat Lecture." Mean while i'm just thinking to myself wtf. You wake up because of a loose board and five minutes ago it sounded like, Miley Cyrus was having a live concert for a heard of Elephants while they trample a bag of Kittens that were mauling a Banshee. Psssshht. Ain't that a bitch.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I Can Tell You Used To Be Strippers-Need To Pee-I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

Okay today I watched an old movie, it was called I still know what you did last summer. Yeah that was a degrading movie, and it sucked. I mean I only got scared like once and that was when I saw Jack Black with dreads the rest of it was just...wow. Jenifer Love Hewit....psshhsst. Whore. Let me ask you something how come by scene three all the girls were shirtless? Brandy was all,"Oh no that looks like it'll break if I step on it...I should step on it....it's cracking.Ahhhhh." Then she falls through the glass now she's topless, somehow,and the fisherman tries to kill her shoe.So gay."What are you gonna do boy, call us names?" Sooo gay. Then after that I looked for more pictures for my photo album on facebook and I found this. Yeah. Let that photo marinate. I mean......I can't really.....It explains itself. When I first saw it I was scared, then I couldn't stop laughing. I mean imagine the conversation those two had before they took that picture.

"Hey Gaga!"
"Yeah."
"You know what we should do."
"What?"
"Okay bend over, and let me sit on your neck with a plastic bag over my face?"
".....Okay. Just make sure you're really sweaty"
"Alright."
"Hey,and don't forget to show your disco bra."

Priceless.

Question of the day.
Don't you hate it when your typing something, and you really have to pee?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Ms.Hansen Birthday-Hippies-The Color Purple

Hey I'm in school right now yeah I know ain't that just amazing. I'm on the computer now so I can tell you about Ms.Hansen's birhtday. Now Ms.Hansen is probably my favorite teacher in the school so I just thought I would dedicate this blog to her because I can't afford a real present, and I'm hoping this will make her feel special. alright today I'm gonna talk about hippies. I just never understood them I mean our country is like based on the morals of the hippies, i mean they were all Peace, Love. But really if you think about it they were high all the time so all we did was take advice from a bunch of pot heads. The color purple was a gay movie.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Sexting-Tool Academy-T.M.I.

Hi people.....all six of you wassup? I just got back from school, yeah I'm watching television right now I just saw a documentary about sexting. I mean I don't get it if you want someone to see your junk why can't you just invite them over to your house, and take off your clothes in front of them? I really don't get it. If someone asks you for naked photos chances are they're planning on sending them to everyone they know. So just don't. Oh after that I watched Tool Academy...that show should be called. "The Douche Academy, and a Lesbian Couple." I mean really what is up with the gay couple on there. I mean I thought lesbians were all. "We cry alot, and look like dudes." But no they had the worst relationship out of everyone. It was sad. Maybe they need to have a talk with Ellen and her wife. Then all the guys were wearing thongs. Huh. TV. Don't you hate when people tell you about their whole day in a few sentences?(Ironic.)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day



What do you think today is about? Well I think it's about love, well not really I think that's what it's supposed to be about. But then again if that was true this day wouldn't exist, because love can't be express in just a day. Love is too big. To be celebrated in just one day, it can't be described or defined, especially not with candy or teddy bears. That's why today is always a sad day for me. Not because I usually spend it alone, but because I know not alot of people are gonna spend today with the one they were meant to spend the rest of their lives with, but instead they'll spend today with the one who gives them, presents, and says,"I Love You." But the fact of the matter is love isn't all honkey dorey.Love is hardwork. Love breaks you down. It makes you feel so dismantled, so broken and the only one who can make you feel complete again, is the one your in love with. So if you find yourself feeling happy today, your probably not in love. But if you find yourself feeling like a complete mess, take it as a good thing because honey cupids got you in a chokehold.

Happy Valentines Day.
Peace,Love,And Meata-Baalls

Saturday, February 13, 2010

"Friends"-Transmorphers-Fashion

Today was a good day....up until I went to my friends house, we did the same thing we do everytime we hang out then out of the blue she tells me that I remind her of one of her friends from school. I asked her why, and she told me because I talk all the time and I'm annoying. Yeah my best-friend told me that, it made me cry. We ain't friends no more. Oh I watched a movie with my mom today called Transmorphers. Yeah total rip-off of Transformers, only gayer. I tried to make a bra out of foil, not a good idea my nipples hurt, and my room is a mess of foil and tape so yeah.

Sorry I'm being such a buzz kill right now I'll try to be happier tomorrow, when I'am alone on Valentines Day.

Question of the day.

Pink or Red?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Olympics-Selective Memory-Harley



I'm gonna warn you that this is probably gonna be the dumbest thing you've read all day. I'm serious. I almost didn't write today, then I got bored. So let me tell you about the highlights of my day. I got two dollars from one of my friends because I won a bet, ummm yeah that's it. Time for the weird, messed up, "tear jerking" things.

One: Today a boy made me feel really bad about myself....yeah. Then I got a piece of candy and I forgot about it. I think that's so weird how I'll be sooo pissed at someone if they say something to me and then like three hours later I won't even remember it. It's the same for the stuff I do to other people. I'll just walk up to one of my friends,
"Hey what's up?"
"Why are you talking to me?"
"Because you look mad."
"I am, and it's your fault."
"Wait. What did I do."
"Are you serious? You just called me a dumb whore five minutes ago."
"No I didn't."
"Yeah you did."
"No I didn't."

And our conversation will go on like this for about half an hour and I be thinking the whole time,"She is such a liar." Then I'll be lying in my bed that same night and remember that I did call her a dumb whore. Then I'll laugh about it. I know I'm such a great person.

Two: My friend Paige walked up behind me, put her hand over my mouth, then said,"Don't scream it'll be over soon." I was scared.
Then I almost bitched slapped this dude named Harley. Omg, such a D-bag I swear, he is so fucking annoying. He sounds like a squirrel that hasn't gone through puberty yet. Just like Justin Bieber. And I love how he calls everyone a fag it's like,"Do you know who you are man. Such a Douche.

Three: I watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. God I didn't know everyone who lived in Canada was Indian, I really did think Canadians were just a bunch of Fat Asses who loved Beer and Bacon. Then again if that was true my uncle would be Canadian. But no apparently when the whites came to Amercia (You) and started spreading Syphilis, killing the Indians and stealing their land, alot of the Indians crossed the boarded in to the Maple Leaf country, and now Canada is led by a man named Dances With Wolfs, now isn't that interesting?


Question of the day?
Aren't babies just like elderly people, except no wrinkles?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Beer And Bikes- Based On A True Story-My Sister's Friends

Okay today I was walking home with my little brother, like usual. Then out of know where this chick flies by on a bike going like fifty miles per hour, riding with one hand because she has a beer in the other, and right as she goes by she throws her can in a pile of snow and it splatters all over me. Now she's half way down the block, and she looks back at me, and winks. I know right wtf. I had half a mind to just cuss her out, but you know what I was scared to, because she looked like a violent girl. And I didn't want to get my ass kicked in front of my little brother. That really did piss me of though I hope she hits a brick, and gets put into a coma. Let me ask you something why do people, but "based on a true story" in the beginning of a movie when they know they made everything in it up. Seriously, the whole time you're like," OMG there was really a guy named Bob who lived in Detroit, got abducted and raped by space aliens, was returned to earth, found a cure for cancer, made Ryan Seacrest come out of the closet, took Amy Winehouse to rehab, then survived a 700 foot fall." (All impossible things.) Then you Google it, and find out the only true thing in the movie was that there was really a guy named Bob who lived in Detroit. F#*%ing liars.
I was just wondering do any of your sisters have really gay friends, cause mine does. There's three kinds of her gay friends. There's the ones who have the same name as her, that are obsessed with Miley Cyrus. Then there's the fat girls. Then there's the skinny ones who always want to take a shower with her, and break shit everytime they come over. Last but not least there's the ones with the piercings. Yeah bunch of creepers in my house. Uhhhhhh.

Question of the day.

Chicken Noodles or Ooodles of Noodles

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Jersey Shore-Mcdonalds-Two Blondes Lipstick & Aids

We talked about S.T.D.s today in social studies, and ways they could be transmitted Jay explained alot of different ways , but as soon as he said hot tub I though Jersey Shore. First I wanna know why everyone from Jersey pronounces it Jourz yet it's still spelled Jersey....Hmmmm. Anyways yeah that show is pretty much just S.T.D.s spray tans, and violence. We need that in our lives. I thought that was what the Real World was for. But I guess the people from that show were too smart and had priorities.(It's funny because they didn't.) Oh today I went to Mcdonalds, twice. Only because the lady who took my order was stupid. "So you want four drinks, a pie and a salad?" Yeah I had ordered two Cheeseburgers. Idiot. Then after I ate the Cheeseburger I felt guilty. My stomach was all bloated, and it made me think of all of the kids in Africa who don't have food, and instead have AIDS. Which leads me into my next subject. Gaga & Cyndi Lauper teamed up to raise money for AIDS......by selling lipstick. Yeah, I know. They did two interviews today, together. All I have to say is what the f*ck. Cyndi Lauper was all talking about how you were a square if you didn't give it up back in the 70's then Gaga's all,"I want you to have sex with your boyfriend then go into the bathroom and put on this lipstick so you remeber to always have safe sex." No wait there's more then they talked about horny elderly women. I'm sorry I can't visualize and old lady gettin' an S.T.D. I mean aren't they just supposed to drink Prune Juice, and play Solitare. Too much crazy for one interview.


Question of the day.

Are you thankful for what you've got?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Don't Talk About Doing My Mom- Why Me-Old Guy With A Pen In His Hand

Today school.....sucked. I mean altogether, my friend Shane wasn't there to get me through the first two hours of the day. We had too look at peoples genitals is Social Studies.(Why not science, but then again I suppose it's never the right time to look at a dick that's oozing puss.) Then the dumbest thing that happened was we had to do some quiz type deal in science, and I straight up asked my teacher,"Does everything we do in this class have to be gay?" She said yes. Then my friend tried to cheer me up by saying your mom jokes which usually make me laugh, but then she got way too descriptive. So I ended up visualizing her doing my mother, yeah nasty.lol She got in the UNDERWEAR ZONE with my mom. Oh my bag got thrown in the trash today by a bully. Aww sad. I mean I have no clue why she did it. I've done nothing to her beside try to make her feel comfortable in her own skin. "Everybody knows you have a penis so you might as well stop trying to be a girl, I can see your bulge in those short-shorts." I mean would that make you mad if I said it to you? Btw Mr.Ashton got a pen thrown at his face. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.



Question of the day.
Which is better football or soccer?

Monday, February 8, 2010

Hair Cut-Let's Talk About Sex-My Hair

First I have to say I'm really sorry I didn't blog yesterday, I felt like crap so I was only on the computer for like 3 minutes so yeah. I didn't really do anything yesterday except hang out with on of my buddies. She got this really cool hair cut it's all rock out everywhere, and I love it. The only thing was it smelled like Honey Ranch, and the whole time I was just wondering what it would taste like on a salad.Oh but today yeah really exciting. We talked about sex, (not much different than everyday at school for me.) it was funny, but i'm pretty sure if my parents were there they would've had some things to say. Because the guy was pretty much like,"Sex is great if it wasn't people wouldn't have it." Yeah I don't think my parents wanted me to know that, I'm pretty sure they would've been okay with me thinking that sex was some really painful ride that I shouldn't get on until I'm married.But, hey. Anyways the last event of the day was the reaction to my hair. I had no clue what everyone's deal was, I came to school with it like combed to the side, and I got some comments from people really pissed me off but then I got some great advice from a wise man named Shane he said,"Don't give a damn like me." So I went to art ripped out my hair tie shook it like Beyonce shakes that ass. Then I just walked around, so many looks so many question. The funny thing is I didn't even get a chance to see what it looked like. Things like that are the reasons I'm so happy to have the friends I do love u guys. XOXOX


Quote of the day.
"They have no right to talk about you, look at them over there got so much eyeliner on, those Bitches be looking like the grudge. They ain't got good hair either, but that's just because they don't have enough time to comb they stuff. They're to busy n peoples shower killn 'em and sh*t.

-Ashlie Collison

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Star Wars-M.S.U. Basketball- Vagaterians

It was freezing cold all day, still is. Anyways onto my day. I played Star Wars Battle Front 2 for like two hours straight. I'm such a nerd, then I went to the store to buy pads, and skittles I felt like such a woman. It was fun, the cashier looked at me funny. IDK why (yeah I know I actually used IDK in a sentence. I feel like such a bimbo, next I'm gonna start wearing Hollister listening to Coldplay.) then a few hours later I went to a M.S.U Basketball game. I felt bad about the people who were setting behind me though, because I mostly just talked about this pregnant woman who went to a strip-club on the show I watched this morning. Then my friend started talking about her gay sister. She calls herself a vagaterian, short for vaginaterian......its like a whole new food group. So I guess today was exceptionally amazing hopefully tommorow is just as cool. By the way horrible stomach ache. I ate four slim jims, a pack of skittles, poweraid, cheese fries, popcorn, and a snickers bar.


Question of the day.
If you see a mixed person do you call them Black?

Can't Sleep- WTF Is Up With Celebrities- A Horse Named Candy Can

It is six am. Yeah I know that's very insignificant information, but I just thought you might wanna know. I couldn't sleep so I thought I would blog. I kept thinking about valentine's day, and why singers used to be really good, and then four years later they're just WTF. Example one Katy Perry. She went from singing gospel songs to having random acts of lesbianism. Then there's Bobby Brown, he wanted someone to be his candy girl, now he's on crack. Last, but not least Britney Spears. Nuff Said. Then when I finally did go to bed I dreamed about a horse who's neck looked like balls,he was purple, his name was candy can. He was being ridden down a valley by Lady Gaga. She had a shot gun, and she pretty much killed everyone south of the Mexican border. Yeah creepy, huh? I don't want this to be today's blog so just pretend it's a random note from me that you shouldn't have read. I'll be back on to tell you about my day....as soon as it starts. XOXOXO

Friday, February 5, 2010

Today I Did Nothing-Gum-Someones Boob

I got a day off school today,yeah I'm lucky right no. I got in trouble today for something stupid, my little brothers in the kitchen getting his third breakfast and I go in there,"Hey Drake what are you doing." Let's just say it ended in me crying. I just wanna ask something wtf is up with Dubble Bubble? I mean you put it in your mouth and your like,"Omg this is so delicious." Then three minutes later it tastes like your chewing on a tire, not even a new tire like the really old one on your grandma gelopy.
Oh I saw someones boob today, I was just minding my own buisness, then out of nowhere breast. It was some model on this show I was watching,but I guess bras aren't cu tour enough for fashion shows.lol Besides that I did nothing today hopefully more excitment is in store for me tommorow.

Question of the day.
Are all male fashion designers gay?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Gym Class-English-And My Stomach

Ahh. Today was a good day, I got a great work out in gym class. It was fun made me feel all in shape and what not, but before gym class I was in english yeah we talked about cab calloway and his slang terms we even listened to a song called minnie the moocher is was about a houchie mama who's boy-friend was on drugs. Good times in english class.lol Last but not least my tummy..... It is get currently covered in the signatures of my school mate. I know what your wondering how did I get people to sign my stomach.
"Hey dude wanna sign my tummy?" "Sure." As easy as that.

Question of the day.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Teen Mom-Drag Race- My Day At School-Question Of The Day.

I watched t.v. last night is was pretty cool. I watched Drag Race those were some fierce Drag Queen's. They was workin it GIIIRRRLL. Then after it I watched Teen Mom, that show is so sad it's about a bunch of girls who had to give up their lives because they got pregnant. It mad me cry but it was also really an eye opener, you know even though the Beatles said all you need is love dat ain't true. All you need is responsibility. Anyways on to my day at school, I got "Picked On" by some girl at least I know what her name is now.lol
Picked on is in quotes because she called me slick rick, and I don't even know who that is. I guess it's because I got a perm and my hair is slicked back, by the way perms yeah they ain't worth it. It was 20 minutes of torture, my scalp still burns. The in 7th hour we wrote stories about rocks. Mine was a tramp she had a thong and everything so yeah.

Question of the day.

Would It Be Hard To Put Your Kid Up For Adoption, Or To Raise It On Your Own?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

About Me Totally Random- And Question Of The Day

This is my first Blog, just created it today and I am so happy because now I can tell the world how I feel, and ask people stupid questions that of course all of us have thought about at some point in time. (: But before I start blogging I think I should tell you a little about me. (Since your gonna be spending a fair amount of time reading about all of the crap that goes on in my mind.)

1. I love chessecake.
2.Two words Lady Gaga.
3.I hate bullies.
4. I have the bestest friends in the world.

Yeah I know completely random things but I think they are he most important things about me so yeah.

Today at school I got picked on by three different girls. So Sad. The around 4th hour I started talking to my bestest friend, and that's where I got the "Question Of The Day."

How did Stewie from Family Guy go from diabolically evil to just gay? Please someone answer that question for me.